Hello! Long time no post :)
Been so fed up with school works recently. I never really learned anything from school, never had. I always go to school you know to gossip, fool around, chat or play games to kill time.
School's good, it's great but if only they got rid of the waking up early and the piling homeworks. Nah, exams are okay in my head. Actually, I only feel like a student when it's exams time.
Ah then again, will be leaving school. There goes 15 years of my life spent like a blink of eye. I'm gonna miss school. Heck, I'll even do it all again if possible.
See, I'm going to make a choice in the near future. I need determination. I have none.
What can I do really?
To some people, choices are easy to make. But for me, who always think too much, I have many at stake.
Usually, it's the moms who felt like they don't want their kids to leave, for me, I felt like I can't leave her. Why, you ask?
She's naive. She trusts too easily, she's way too kind for her own good. I am usually the one who barks off all the disturbances, I can't really imagine how will it be when I'm gone.
Cause you know, it's not an easy option. I am going to miss out an entire 3-4 years of my parents' life. I have never been that far away from them before. I have to admit, it sure will be hell to adapt.
I can't really leave my parents, especially my mom on her own. Because except for the reasons I listed above, she is also very nurturing and protective to us. You know, she never really wanted us to do the house works but I insisted on me and my brother helping. She has worked too hard, she must be exhausted but noooo, she just won't ask for help which I will gladly drag my brother to if I must.
Problem is that stupid idiotic brother of mine is just either too stupid or too ignorant to care. I really hate him sometimes. He didn't think about how tired my mom must be, how we as her children should've helped. He is always about his computer, online games.
Sometimes I just want to change the speedy password so that he will not be able to play it again. Which I will do, if I don't see a change tonight.
I have talked to him many times, soft in the beginning but somehow he just managed to piss me off in the middle and I always ended up saying harsh things. I find it hard to sugarcoat my words even when I'm focused so you can imagine when I'm pissed.
Well, let's see tonight. Will blog the result if I have time.
Adios ♥
