Maybe I'm suffering insomnia. Maybe just maybe.
I have never before in my whole seventeen years of life been in so much difficulty just to fall asleep. I'm having troubles sleeping lately and it's fucking annoying.
Missed out so much because I wake up so late. Can't hang out with friends, can't do so many things.
It's driving me nuts.
Ugh.
Today is one of those days where I can at least sleep a bit longer. I woke up around 12 this afternoon and slept again until my friend called. Aish, I feel really really bad you know.
It'll probably be the last time I saw him for this year but I can't go hang out today because I'm still half-asleep.
Sigh.
Oh yeah, I'll probably start working shortly though I still can't be sure. I'll have to ask my daddy first.
No more sleeping so late. No more damaging my eyes all day.
Short post this is, I'm going back to sleep.
Off ♥
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Domino
Hi. Today it's been officially decided that I'll be staying here in this boring city.
Yeah, not going anywhere. Sucks? Yeah, but you aren't me, so you don't know how I feel.
The only silver lining in this dark storm cloud is that I will be getting a Samsung Galaxy SIII as consolation for my dear departed hope in going somewhere. Or anything I wanted really, but my father insists on SIII.
Now, I'm going to go ask my dear friends on which good gadgets, preferably not so expensive ones.
Anyway, I've been meaning to chance my blog's layout for like forever! But I'm either way too lazy or I forgot. Aish.
Oh by the way, I've arranged a dialogue in my mind of what I'm going to say if I ever met Kris, and here goes :
Yeah, that's definitely how it'll be. I don't think I'll be able to speak at all, or think when I see him and when he smiles, oh that smile, I'll probably die.
Oh, I found a picture of Kris and Kris in the airport.
Because only a real man can look sexy while holding a fluffy stuffed animal.
Holding a broom, sweeping away my bias list.
You all must be fucking sick of me and my Kris fever already.
Wait until you see my laptop. Or phone.
XOXO ♥
Yeah, not going anywhere. Sucks? Yeah, but you aren't me, so you don't know how I feel.
The only silver lining in this dark storm cloud is that I will be getting a Samsung Galaxy SIII as consolation for my dear departed hope in going somewhere. Or anything I wanted really, but my father insists on SIII.
Now, I'm going to go ask my dear friends on which good gadgets, preferably not so expensive ones.
Anyway, I've been meaning to chance my blog's layout for like forever! But I'm either way too lazy or I forgot. Aish.
Oh by the way, I've arranged a dialogue in my mind of what I'm going to say if I ever met Kris, and here goes :
Kris : Annyeonghaseo (raises eyebrows and smile)
Me : ...
Kris :
Me :
Police : So she just died?
Kris : Basically ...
Yeah, that's definitely how it'll be. I don't think I'll be able to speak at all, or think when I see him and when he smiles, oh that smile, I'll probably die.
Oh, I found a picture of Kris and Kris in the airport.
Because only a real man can look sexy while holding a fluffy stuffed animal.
Holding a broom, sweeping away my bias list.
I like Kris a lot less than I expected to.
- No one EVER
You all must be fucking sick of me and my Kris fever already.
Wait until you see my laptop. Or phone.
XOXO ♥
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Black Balloons
Hey guys!
Today is great, we went out together to eat sushi! Aish, how I miss Sushi Tei, haven't eaten it in the longest time ever. Tastes just as good as I remember it. Ehe~
I just remembered that today is also Kang Minhyuk's birthday! Happy birthday CN Blue's cutest drummer!
My posts recently may be random because that is just how I feel. Random.
I don't know what I want, I don't know. I just ... don't know.
What's wrong? Everything. I feel like running away. Like going to sleep and perhaps never wake up. It's dark, I know. And I really don't deserve to add another drama to your life as if you don't have enough on your hands already.
I listened to Roots Before Branches these days. It says there that I need to know who I am before I know who I wanna be.
That's the thing. I don't know. These three words seem to be my most favorite words these days, that's all I seem to say.
I ask myself this before I went to sleep everyday, "Who am I?"
Every time I look at the mirror, "Who am I?"
My reflection stares back blankly at me and those three words was whispered back in a meek, broken voice on my mind.
If I don't have any roots how can I have a branch? How can I be anything if I don't know who or what am I?
The song just strikes straight to my core.
So many things to do and say but I can't seem to find my way, I know I gotta find myself first but I don't know how.
Sometimes, I just don't want to feel and forget the pain is real, forget everything, the frustration, the pressure, constant questioning, just everything. Reality always hurts.
What can I do? What should I do? How?
All these should have been answered easily if only I can answer the who question.
I just don't want to think.
Frustration is getting the best of me right now. I'm depressed.
Anyway, after reading that, I'm gonna nag a bit again about this Pemuda Pancasila thingy.
Those fucking bastards, come to my place then ask around for money supposedly or security, they said. Oh my, what loads of bullshit you got there sweetheart.
We already paid the security money to the person who manages the place around here.
My mom paid them anyway, but my neighbor won't. The next day, he got shit splattered all over his gate.
And it's real, real shit.
Pancasila? Is this how it's supposed to be?
I mean, for real. What use do we have for all those big fancy words when your actions are like that? Huh?
Fucking disgrace.
At least don't use the Pancasila name if you're just gonna behave like mindless, uneducated rascals who practically demand money from people. Useless people.
And you know how deep my hatred runs for those kinds of natives. For me, frankly, they are no good rubbish whose only use is to be gathered inside a huge tall building and burnt, so they can all die. Period.
Yeah, that should speak for how much I hate them.
Seriously, they should all just die, every single one of them.
Trashes.
Anyway, I'll conclude today's post with that. See you!
Love ♥
Today is great, we went out together to eat sushi! Aish, how I miss Sushi Tei, haven't eaten it in the longest time ever. Tastes just as good as I remember it. Ehe~
I just remembered that today is also Kang Minhyuk's birthday! Happy birthday CN Blue's cutest drummer!
My posts recently may be random because that is just how I feel. Random.
I don't know what I want, I don't know. I just ... don't know.
What's wrong? Everything. I feel like running away. Like going to sleep and perhaps never wake up. It's dark, I know. And I really don't deserve to add another drama to your life as if you don't have enough on your hands already.
I listened to Roots Before Branches these days. It says there that I need to know who I am before I know who I wanna be.
That's the thing. I don't know. These three words seem to be my most favorite words these days, that's all I seem to say.
I ask myself this before I went to sleep everyday, "Who am I?"
Every time I look at the mirror, "Who am I?"
My reflection stares back blankly at me and those three words was whispered back in a meek, broken voice on my mind.
If I don't have any roots how can I have a branch? How can I be anything if I don't know who or what am I?
The song just strikes straight to my core.
So many things to do and say but I can't seem to find my way, I know I gotta find myself first but I don't know how.
Sometimes, I just don't want to feel and forget the pain is real, forget everything, the frustration, the pressure, constant questioning, just everything. Reality always hurts.
What can I do? What should I do? How?
All these should have been answered easily if only I can answer the who question.
I just don't want to think.
Frustration is getting the best of me right now. I'm depressed.
Anyway, after reading that, I'm gonna nag a bit again about this Pemuda Pancasila thingy.
Those fucking bastards, come to my place then ask around for money supposedly or security, they said. Oh my, what loads of bullshit you got there sweetheart.
We already paid the security money to the person who manages the place around here.
My mom paid them anyway, but my neighbor won't. The next day, he got shit splattered all over his gate.
And it's real, real shit.
Pancasila? Is this how it's supposed to be?
I mean, for real. What use do we have for all those big fancy words when your actions are like that? Huh?
Fucking disgrace.
At least don't use the Pancasila name if you're just gonna behave like mindless, uneducated rascals who practically demand money from people. Useless people.
And you know how deep my hatred runs for those kinds of natives. For me, frankly, they are no good rubbish whose only use is to be gathered inside a huge tall building and burnt, so they can all die. Period.
Yeah, that should speak for how much I hate them.
Seriously, they should all just die, every single one of them.
Trashes.
Anyway, I'll conclude today's post with that. See you!
Love ♥
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Kekemato
Happy birthday Kekemato BAP Daehyunnie oppa ♥
I know it's in the 28th but I just can't wait anymore. Keke~
Keep on rocking Busan Wonbin! I hope you guys come out with a new single or preferably new album real soon, okay oppa?
Enjoy your birthday oppa! Saranghaeyo ♥
Here's picspam of him and his awesome self.
Annyeong ♥
I know it's in the 28th but I just can't wait anymore. Keke~
Keep on rocking Busan Wonbin! I hope you guys come out with a new single or preferably new album real soon, okay oppa?
Enjoy your birthday oppa! Saranghaeyo ♥
Here's picspam of him and his awesome self.
Annyeong ♥
Titles Strike Again!
Anyway, again, I changed the title and url because I'm not satisfied. Haha.
Short post this is, whatever. I'm drowning in the hot lava of the perfection of Kris.
Short post this is, whatever. I'm drowning in the hot lava of the perfection of Kris.
History
It's official guys. My whole life before I saw Kris was history. Ancient fucking history.
My life now revolves only around him. Where did my normal life go? Sobs.
Aish, he really robs the life away from all his fan girls. The day he finally decides to come out shirtless will be the day I have finally lived with no regrets.
Why? Why must he do this to me?
I'm just trying to be loyal to my bias but then I see him. He practically tortures me with his perfection and now, there is no day when I'm not in front of my computer searching for new pictures of perfection.
Aigoo. What have I become?
Anyway, enough ranting about that male god.
I think I'm really not a fan of Exo-K now. It's always all about Kai, there not that I'm complaining because Kai is pretty hot too but let others a chance to shine as well. Exo-M is seriously not getting enough love, everyone is always all about Exo-K. Don't worry though, I'll give them love. Wink wink
By the way, Baekhyun from Exo-K is also quite the hotness.
I'm currently not really wanting to deal with reality, that's why I'm mostly daydreaming. Sometimes it's so vivid, I almost believe it myself. How stupid is that?
Reality sucks. I've told you before about me making a choice to go to Bandung and how my mother supported me to go.
But my mother has always been easily swayed by people. I don't know who told her but now she is against me going. And so is my father.
The reasons are very reasonable, I guess. My father just doesn't want his only daughter to be far away from him, he wants to be able to see me everyday and frankly, so do I but I want to take risks.
I never did, I always play safe. I play in the lines where I knew I'll win or at least, safe. I don't like changes, I hate risks. I want to know everything and be assured that what I'm doing will result in good or advantageous to myself.
But what is life without taking chances? Braving the risks? Weathering the storms?
I feel like if I stay here, I'm wasting myself. Well, I'm wasting myself no matter where I go in Indonesia anyway but what can I do? Not like my parents will ever agree to send me somewhere without anyone they know there.
Sometimes, I'm just so angry at everything you know. I feel like shouting out loud and destroy everything in range.
I want to know what's good for me, what I wanted. Actually, I know what I want but my father just won't let me. I want to study Psychology, he doesn't want me to, he says it's useless. He just won't listen to my explanation, he is so much like me, it's sickening. Our tempers, our behaviors, how we react to certain things, it's just so similar.
Why I listen to him, I hear you ask? He's my father. I want him to be happy, to be proud of what I do.
But sometimes I wish he would just listen to me, listen to what I want. My life is always abut satisfying him, making him happy. I want to live more like me.
I don't think it's wrong. It's not selfish. It's natural.
I wish he would listen though. Because it's my life.
I'm the one living it, not him or anyone else. I know me the most, I know what I want but I can't get it.
It's the feeling of helplessness and frustration that's driving me insane.
Aish, what to do?
YOLO ♥
My life now revolves only around him. Where did my normal life go? Sobs.
Aish, he really robs the life away from all his fan girls. The day he finally decides to come out shirtless will be the day I have finally lived with no regrets.
Why? Why must he do this to me?
I'm just trying to be loyal to my bias but then I see him. He practically tortures me with his perfection and now, there is no day when I'm not in front of my computer searching for new pictures of perfection.
Aigoo. What have I become?
Anyway, enough ranting about that male god.
I think I'm really not a fan of Exo-K now. It's always all about Kai, there not that I'm complaining because Kai is pretty hot too but let others a chance to shine as well. Exo-M is seriously not getting enough love, everyone is always all about Exo-K. Don't worry though, I'll give them love. Wink wink
By the way, Baekhyun from Exo-K is also quite the hotness.
I'm currently not really wanting to deal with reality, that's why I'm mostly daydreaming. Sometimes it's so vivid, I almost believe it myself. How stupid is that?
Reality sucks. I've told you before about me making a choice to go to Bandung and how my mother supported me to go.
But my mother has always been easily swayed by people. I don't know who told her but now she is against me going. And so is my father.
The reasons are very reasonable, I guess. My father just doesn't want his only daughter to be far away from him, he wants to be able to see me everyday and frankly, so do I but I want to take risks.
I never did, I always play safe. I play in the lines where I knew I'll win or at least, safe. I don't like changes, I hate risks. I want to know everything and be assured that what I'm doing will result in good or advantageous to myself.
But what is life without taking chances? Braving the risks? Weathering the storms?
I feel like if I stay here, I'm wasting myself. Well, I'm wasting myself no matter where I go in Indonesia anyway but what can I do? Not like my parents will ever agree to send me somewhere without anyone they know there.
Sometimes, I'm just so angry at everything you know. I feel like shouting out loud and destroy everything in range.
I want to know what's good for me, what I wanted. Actually, I know what I want but my father just won't let me. I want to study Psychology, he doesn't want me to, he says it's useless. He just won't listen to my explanation, he is so much like me, it's sickening. Our tempers, our behaviors, how we react to certain things, it's just so similar.
Why I listen to him, I hear you ask? He's my father. I want him to be happy, to be proud of what I do.
But sometimes I wish he would just listen to me, listen to what I want. My life is always abut satisfying him, making him happy. I want to live more like me.
I don't think it's wrong. It's not selfish. It's natural.
I wish he would listen though. Because it's my life.
I'm the one living it, not him or anyone else. I know me the most, I know what I want but I can't get it.
It's the feeling of helplessness and frustration that's driving me insane.
Aish, what to do?
YOLO ♥
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Bounce
Backk! I know it's old but I have only recently listened to JJ Project's Bounce, quite good I have to admit. But I have developed a strong, very deep-rooted hatred to JR from that group.
He did not do me any wrong but it's just his actions is too much for me, too exaggerated. ALAY if one might say.
He is almost the same with 2pm's Taecyeon. Hate me as you may, I am a Hottest myself but that Taecyeon is just annoying. People say he's the most handsome of all, but to me, his face is just ... wrong.
And his actions is just BLEH! I know and everybody knows that he has great body but that did not mean that you have to be topless or rip your shirts off every single fucking time. Your fans might love it and I actually won't mind it that much if his expressions weren't like that.
Urgh and that JR, his expressions really reminded me of Taecyeon. Sigh.
And I love JB too from the same group. He is really good looking, hot if one might say it that way. Perhaps I just need to delete that JR from the music videos, pretend he doesn't exist. Oh and by the way, his rapping sucks. He has to be grateful that he is in the same group with JB, JB definitely saved the song. If he is alone, I personally think he'll be buried.
Anyway, enough of that annoying boy. Have you guys heard f(x)'s Electric Shock? Cool song and MV.
Amber looks good there, I seriously think SM should let her shine more. She might be quite the tomboy but her face is really beautiful. And her legs, that long slender legs. Let her wear hotpants!
SM is always about looks. Sigh.
By the way, I think I might be converting to the Krisus religion (no offense to all Christians out there, I swear!), the fans nicknamed Kris from Exo-M as the male god, Krisus Christ they say. I might be converting because he seriously is driving me crazy.
I used him as my phone wallpaper and I swear every time I look at my phone, I melt. Ahhh, I'm seriously crazy right now.
Every night, I'm Krising and Krising. Aigooo.
I'm nuts already.
I swear the whole freaking world is like a photoshoot studio to him, even when he's just closing a goddamn car door he looks way too good. Way too godly.
Ah than Canadian-Chinese god.
And this is what happens to mine.
TTFN ♥
He did not do me any wrong but it's just his actions is too much for me, too exaggerated. ALAY if one might say.
He is almost the same with 2pm's Taecyeon. Hate me as you may, I am a Hottest myself but that Taecyeon is just annoying. People say he's the most handsome of all, but to me, his face is just ... wrong.
And his actions is just BLEH! I know and everybody knows that he has great body but that did not mean that you have to be topless or rip your shirts off every single fucking time. Your fans might love it and I actually won't mind it that much if his expressions weren't like that.
Urgh and that JR, his expressions really reminded me of Taecyeon. Sigh.
And I love JB too from the same group. He is really good looking, hot if one might say it that way. Perhaps I just need to delete that JR from the music videos, pretend he doesn't exist. Oh and by the way, his rapping sucks. He has to be grateful that he is in the same group with JB, JB definitely saved the song. If he is alone, I personally think he'll be buried.
Anyway, enough of that annoying boy. Have you guys heard f(x)'s Electric Shock? Cool song and MV.
Amber looks good there, I seriously think SM should let her shine more. She might be quite the tomboy but her face is really beautiful. And her legs, that long slender legs. Let her wear hotpants!
SM is always about looks. Sigh.
By the way, I think I might be converting to the Krisus religion (no offense to all Christians out there, I swear!), the fans nicknamed Kris from Exo-M as the male god, Krisus Christ they say. I might be converting because he seriously is driving me crazy.
I used him as my phone wallpaper and I swear every time I look at my phone, I melt. Ahhh, I'm seriously crazy right now.
Every night, I'm Krising and Krising. Aigooo.
I'm nuts already.
I swear the whole freaking world is like a photoshoot studio to him, even when he's just closing a goddamn car door he looks way too good. Way too godly.
Ah than Canadian-Chinese god.
And this is what happens to mine.
TTFN ♥
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Warrior
Hello! I'm backkkk. Ahahaha!
Been feeling a little weird recently but eh, whatever.
Anyway, my test has passed, I don't think I did a number back then but then again, I can only hope for the best.
Oh and I know this is old news but I've been crazy about this supposedly new Kpop boybands. They debuted a few months back but since I'm at school and my brother pretty much dominated the laptop (he still does!) I don't really know much except from the tweets of a Kpop freak on my timeline.
But I highly recommend these guys! Especially B.A.P which stands for Best Absolute Perfect.
They are different from other bands because they're powerful and charismatic, ah you need to witness it with your own eyes to get my point!
Anyway, Jung Daehyun the main vocalist is just gorgeous. I don't usually fall for this type of face but his just blew me away!
I even included a pic for you to see. (Gasp! A picture in this blog? Impossible! :p)
Ah, Daehyun. Melts.
Anyway, the post title is also a title of their song in which on their debut, they bleached their hairs. Every single one of them. At first it makes me hard to recognize anyone (except Daehyun, now his gorgeous face I can recognize anywhere!) but now it's natural to me already.
Nu'Est is also pretty cool and they're about to make their comeback soon! Yay!
There's this one member that looks so much like a girl, even prettier than the average female species. Look him up, or watch their videos. His name is Ren, you'll know when you see him.
At last but not least, EXO! It consists of 12 people but was divided into sub-units Exo-K for Korean and Exo-M for Mandarin.
Personally, I like Exo-M better, why? Because the members are hotter! Seriously, scorching hot.
I'll give you pics for you to decide on your own.
Luhan and Tao.
Xiu Min. Bao Zi ♥♥
Kris, the ice prince laughing!
Whoever captured this picture is a fucking genius. My three biases in one shot? I bow down to thee!
I must have sound like a crazy fangirl. But I am! Not gonna deny the truth.
Anyway, my mood definitely improved upon seeing sizzling hot guys like them. What? I'm perfectly normal here!
Ah, I'm gonna be gushing them for tonight too.
Oh and by the way, Big Bang also made a comeback recently with "Monster."
Here's my husband for you guys to drool at.
Oh. Perfection.
Annyeong ♥
Been feeling a little weird recently but eh, whatever.
Anyway, my test has passed, I don't think I did a number back then but then again, I can only hope for the best.
Oh and I know this is old news but I've been crazy about this supposedly new Kpop boybands. They debuted a few months back but since I'm at school and my brother pretty much dominated the laptop (he still does!) I don't really know much except from the tweets of a Kpop freak on my timeline.
But I highly recommend these guys! Especially B.A.P which stands for Best Absolute Perfect.
They are different from other bands because they're powerful and charismatic, ah you need to witness it with your own eyes to get my point!
Anyway, Jung Daehyun the main vocalist is just gorgeous. I don't usually fall for this type of face but his just blew me away!
I even included a pic for you to see. (Gasp! A picture in this blog? Impossible! :p)
Ah, Daehyun. Melts.
Anyway, the post title is also a title of their song in which on their debut, they bleached their hairs. Every single one of them. At first it makes me hard to recognize anyone (except Daehyun, now his gorgeous face I can recognize anywhere!) but now it's natural to me already.
Nu'Est is also pretty cool and they're about to make their comeback soon! Yay!
There's this one member that looks so much like a girl, even prettier than the average female species. Look him up, or watch their videos. His name is Ren, you'll know when you see him.
At last but not least, EXO! It consists of 12 people but was divided into sub-units Exo-K for Korean and Exo-M for Mandarin.
Personally, I like Exo-M better, why? Because the members are hotter! Seriously, scorching hot.
I'll give you pics for you to decide on your own.
Luhan and Tao.
Whoever captured this picture is a fucking genius. My three biases in one shot? I bow down to thee!
I must have sound like a crazy fangirl. But I am! Not gonna deny the truth.
Anyway, my mood definitely improved upon seeing sizzling hot guys like them. What? I'm perfectly normal here!
Ah, I'm gonna be gushing them for tonight too.
Oh and by the way, Big Bang also made a comeback recently with "Monster."
Here's my husband for you guys to drool at.
Oh. Perfection.
Annyeong ♥
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Down
Hello!
I'm feeling a bit down today very much similar to the current weather outside, heavy downpour.
I didn't succeed in my SNMPTN invitation, that much is guaranteed and I might have expected it so no surprise there but I don't know why I feel kinda sad.
I guess it's just the thought that I'm not good enough that I can not possibly bear.
This is the mind of a perfectionist over here.
I think that it's the fleeting hope that I might pass is what makes it most hurtful. I guess the saying expectation is the source of pain really does me a number on this one.
My mother is down with cough and I feel really really bad listening to her in the other room coughing every night. I feel guilty.
I sometimes wish for our positions to be reversed you know. I did nothing and I slept till very late while she can't sleep because her cough is not letting her to and she has to wake up early and work.
If it was me, I guess the sufferings won't be as much worse as it is with her.
And then my realization that the writing test of SNMPTN is really really close and I haven't learned anything yet. My whole future is at stake. A very wobbly and shaky stake.
I guess I didn't pass the test for the better. My resolution is pretty much corrupted and my hope is very much tainted.
The fleeting hope comes because of my laziness and habit of procrastination, in vain wish that if I had passed this one then I do not need to study anymore for the writing test. Yeah, very stupid indeed.
Anyway, this is a short post.
Bye ♥
I'm feeling a bit down today very much similar to the current weather outside, heavy downpour.
I didn't succeed in my SNMPTN invitation, that much is guaranteed and I might have expected it so no surprise there but I don't know why I feel kinda sad.
I guess it's just the thought that I'm not good enough that I can not possibly bear.
This is the mind of a perfectionist over here.
I think that it's the fleeting hope that I might pass is what makes it most hurtful. I guess the saying expectation is the source of pain really does me a number on this one.
My mother is down with cough and I feel really really bad listening to her in the other room coughing every night. I feel guilty.
I sometimes wish for our positions to be reversed you know. I did nothing and I slept till very late while she can't sleep because her cough is not letting her to and she has to wake up early and work.
If it was me, I guess the sufferings won't be as much worse as it is with her.
And then my realization that the writing test of SNMPTN is really really close and I haven't learned anything yet. My whole future is at stake. A very wobbly and shaky stake.
I guess I didn't pass the test for the better. My resolution is pretty much corrupted and my hope is very much tainted.
The fleeting hope comes because of my laziness and habit of procrastination, in vain wish that if I had passed this one then I do not need to study anymore for the writing test. Yeah, very stupid indeed.
Anyway, this is a short post.
Bye ♥
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Titles AGAIN!
Fine, I finally found a name. I'll post the change in facebook and twitter, so yeah, if you missed the notification from earlier then yeah.
Title officially changed!
Title officially changed!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Titles
Thinking of changing my blog url. Bored with it.
What should I change it to?
Be back with more inspirations.
Tata ♥
What should I change it to?
Be back with more inspirations.
Tata ♥
The A-Team
Hola! I watched The Avengers again for the second time earlier this week, on Monday actually!
Ah yes, great great movie absolutely amazing. Not to mention, leaking of hot guys too. Oh man, when I went to watch it the first time I had not expected my face to melt off that much.
Chris Hemsworth or Thor is like sizzling hot there, and Robert Downey Jr aka Iron Man is not backing down a second. Well, who doesn't love a fabulous eye candy? I do!
Tom Hiddleston, the one who played Loki is actually a very good looking British in real life. Yes, I have that much love for The Brits and the Aussies. When Tom talked, it's like the guy could talk about sand still make it interesting.
Yeah, his voice is that dreamy. His O is so round, I don't know how to explain it but it's so full you know. Just go to Youtube and search his name, listen to his voice, I could listen to him all day.
Chris is sarcastically funny. He is always so worked up in interviews, like a ball of energy, so cute. You should look him up on the Letterman show, his skill of deadpanning is just so admirable and he is super adorable there too. Ever since he played Thor, he always has his hair up in this cute little ponytail which despite the fact that I hate long hair on guys, for him, I'll make a super big exception.
And anyway, Avengers is really super recommended. It's a pack of drama, action and humor. Some pretty awesome quotes too-I'm not spoiling any here though.
Also, Chris Hemsworth is playing in another movie which is coming out this year as well. It is a tale from our childhood remixed and packed with a punch.
Snow White and The Huntsman.
If you read the title and expected the heroine to lay down on a glass coffin and wait for Prince Charming to arrive then sadly, it has been readjusted to fit in the 21st century.
The Snow White will be fighting like a warrior in this movie. And guess who plays the Snow White?
It's Kristen Steward. My biggest disappointment in the movie.
I think the plotline is good already but why oh why in the name of Odin does the heroine has to be Kristen freaking Steward?
God, is there no other actress? The girl barely show a change of expression in Twilight and now she's getting a wholesome of huge blockbuster movies?
This Hollywood minds, I can not comprehend.
By the way, Chris doesn't play Prince Charming in the movie, he's the huntsman. Yet another action film for him, awww, perfect for heart melting.
Even though I hate Kristen with all my heart and soul, I'm still watching the movie though. Just for Chris Hemsworth's nice piece of ass.
That guy is perfect I swear.
And enough about hot guys, really, I think you guys must have been bored to hell by my rambling of my favorite type of guy.
Anyway, I went to the beach today.
It was definitely worth sacrificing the hardly achieved whiteness of my skin for the tons of fun we had.
We took lots of pictures too. Unfortunately I had none for my external harddisk is yet to be back on my palms and we took it using my friend's DSLR.
Will post the pics ASAP.
Love ♥
Ah yes, great great movie absolutely amazing. Not to mention, leaking of hot guys too. Oh man, when I went to watch it the first time I had not expected my face to melt off that much.
Chris Hemsworth or Thor is like sizzling hot there, and Robert Downey Jr aka Iron Man is not backing down a second. Well, who doesn't love a fabulous eye candy? I do!
Tom Hiddleston, the one who played Loki is actually a very good looking British in real life. Yes, I have that much love for The Brits and the Aussies. When Tom talked, it's like the guy could talk about sand still make it interesting.
Yeah, his voice is that dreamy. His O is so round, I don't know how to explain it but it's so full you know. Just go to Youtube and search his name, listen to his voice, I could listen to him all day.
Chris is sarcastically funny. He is always so worked up in interviews, like a ball of energy, so cute. You should look him up on the Letterman show, his skill of deadpanning is just so admirable and he is super adorable there too. Ever since he played Thor, he always has his hair up in this cute little ponytail which despite the fact that I hate long hair on guys, for him, I'll make a super big exception.
And anyway, Avengers is really super recommended. It's a pack of drama, action and humor. Some pretty awesome quotes too-I'm not spoiling any here though.
Also, Chris Hemsworth is playing in another movie which is coming out this year as well. It is a tale from our childhood remixed and packed with a punch.
Snow White and The Huntsman.
If you read the title and expected the heroine to lay down on a glass coffin and wait for Prince Charming to arrive then sadly, it has been readjusted to fit in the 21st century.
The Snow White will be fighting like a warrior in this movie. And guess who plays the Snow White?
It's Kristen Steward. My biggest disappointment in the movie.
I think the plotline is good already but why oh why in the name of Odin does the heroine has to be Kristen freaking Steward?
God, is there no other actress? The girl barely show a change of expression in Twilight and now she's getting a wholesome of huge blockbuster movies?
This Hollywood minds, I can not comprehend.
By the way, Chris doesn't play Prince Charming in the movie, he's the huntsman. Yet another action film for him, awww, perfect for heart melting.
Even though I hate Kristen with all my heart and soul, I'm still watching the movie though. Just for Chris Hemsworth's nice piece of ass.
That guy is perfect I swear.
And enough about hot guys, really, I think you guys must have been bored to hell by my rambling of my favorite type of guy.
Anyway, I went to the beach today.
It was definitely worth sacrificing the hardly achieved whiteness of my skin for the tons of fun we had.
We took lots of pictures too. Unfortunately I had none for my external harddisk is yet to be back on my palms and we took it using my friend's DSLR.
Will post the pics ASAP.
Love ♥
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Paparazzi
God, why oh why do I have to be an Indonesian? *sob sob
I'm so embarrassed by my countrymen's behaviors. Did you know that they banished Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball? Oh my effing god, they even had this posters saying "REFUSE IMPORTS OF SATANIC BEHAVIORS"
Bitch please, our country had enough of those, we even export those why the hell do we even need to import anything? And guys, you guys are Muslims, not Christians . I mean, I can understand that some Christians may object Lady Gaga because some of her song titles are a little bit iffy for them but let's be honest here guys, her songs are awesome right?
Ugh, I have had enough with those organizations acting like their religion is the purest and the most righteous thing. And no offense to any Muslim reading my blog, but seriously guys?
Say no to Lady Gaga because her songs and stage act will corrupt our young generations' minds? As if they are not dirty enough already.
Those people do not understand that we live in the 21st century, for Odin's sake, internet, globalization and all that shit, dude. And seriously, I think it all comes back to the person. Every one has brains with enough capacity to process and make decisions on its own, if they want to submit themselves to occult, then nothing and no one can stop them.
They try to block all pornography sites from the internet because of the same reasons-in vain, may I remind you. They also blocked Maria Ozawa's movie, and burn Playboy magazine page by page when the magazine expanded their wings to Indonesia because of the improper pictures they say, and yet I bet my Oreos that they watched every single movie that Maria Ozawa stars in and also drools at every single pictures in Playboy, and they probably even had a hidden stash of the magazines beneath their beds.
See? Hypocrites.
The thing is you see, I think we all already know those stuffs from internet and books by heart. It happens around us, we heard bad words everyday, and I don't think anyone is as pure as they claim. Everyone knows that. They are very much in denial of the world.
Yeah guys, just live inside a cave like they did on Stone age. Woot!
They think they all did the right thing because they did everything in the name of God, tch, bitches you are all going to hell.
They are allowed to marry more than one woman, and it is their own people that marries underage girls-forced marriage if I may add. And yet, they act as if they are the purest people in the world.
They do violent demonstration all the time, they thrashed many places because they think it did not suit their God's way of seeing things.
I think that they didn't do it because of their God, they did in on the behalf of their own selfishness and is blinded by their own view of the world. In all actuality, they are the Satanic one.
Just so you guys know, Indonesian is a democratic country not an Islamic country. If you want everything to go by your so-called Islamic way, GO LIVE IN SAUDI ARABIA where I am sure everything is as you want it to be.
They yell at women wearing short skirts or pants and yet they relish in the view. You people are the worst kind of human, really. A waste of oxygen and space.
And I am so very sure that their God did not approve of such forcing and violent behavior. They are seeing their own reflections in the mirror, in every mirror that they became so self-conceited, nothing and no one really matters anymore.
One advice for you guys, WAKE UP.
And this is why I hate holding that green passport everywhere I go in this world.
Off ♥
I'm so embarrassed by my countrymen's behaviors. Did you know that they banished Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball? Oh my effing god, they even had this posters saying "REFUSE IMPORTS OF SATANIC BEHAVIORS"
Bitch please, our country had enough of those, we even export those why the hell do we even need to import anything? And guys, you guys are Muslims, not Christians . I mean, I can understand that some Christians may object Lady Gaga because some of her song titles are a little bit iffy for them but let's be honest here guys, her songs are awesome right?
Ugh, I have had enough with those organizations acting like their religion is the purest and the most righteous thing. And no offense to any Muslim reading my blog, but seriously guys?
Say no to Lady Gaga because her songs and stage act will corrupt our young generations' minds? As if they are not dirty enough already.
Those people do not understand that we live in the 21st century, for Odin's sake, internet, globalization and all that shit, dude. And seriously, I think it all comes back to the person. Every one has brains with enough capacity to process and make decisions on its own, if they want to submit themselves to occult, then nothing and no one can stop them.
They try to block all pornography sites from the internet because of the same reasons-in vain, may I remind you. They also blocked Maria Ozawa's movie, and burn Playboy magazine page by page when the magazine expanded their wings to Indonesia because of the improper pictures they say, and yet I bet my Oreos that they watched every single movie that Maria Ozawa stars in and also drools at every single pictures in Playboy, and they probably even had a hidden stash of the magazines beneath their beds.
See? Hypocrites.
The thing is you see, I think we all already know those stuffs from internet and books by heart. It happens around us, we heard bad words everyday, and I don't think anyone is as pure as they claim. Everyone knows that. They are very much in denial of the world.
Yeah guys, just live inside a cave like they did on Stone age. Woot!
They think they all did the right thing because they did everything in the name of God, tch, bitches you are all going to hell.
They are allowed to marry more than one woman, and it is their own people that marries underage girls-forced marriage if I may add. And yet, they act as if they are the purest people in the world.
They do violent demonstration all the time, they thrashed many places because they think it did not suit their God's way of seeing things.
I think that they didn't do it because of their God, they did in on the behalf of their own selfishness and is blinded by their own view of the world. In all actuality, they are the Satanic one.
Just so you guys know, Indonesian is a democratic country not an Islamic country. If you want everything to go by your so-called Islamic way, GO LIVE IN SAUDI ARABIA where I am sure everything is as you want it to be.
They yell at women wearing short skirts or pants and yet they relish in the view. You people are the worst kind of human, really. A waste of oxygen and space.
And I am so very sure that their God did not approve of such forcing and violent behavior. They are seeing their own reflections in the mirror, in every mirror that they became so self-conceited, nothing and no one really matters anymore.
One advice for you guys, WAKE UP.
And this is why I hate holding that green passport everywhere I go in this world.
Off ♥
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Crash Your Party
Hello!
Yes, finally in accordance to my title, my party has been crashed!
By that SNMPTN test on mid June. I don't know how I'm supposed to study for that test right now.
Actually, I'm a planner but no so much of a doer. I make plans but I always break them, which is absolutely why I haven't even touched a single material of what is on the test.
A huge procrastinator that I am, I keep on delaying and delaying.
And now I feel a huge dissatisfaction because I'm supposed to be enjoying my holiday but I have to study. Why is that? I know it's for my future but it's the immature and inadequate side of myself talking right now.
I really am having my way at home. I wake up at noon almost evening, took a bath, eat, browse internet or play games then sleep again. Sometimes I hang out with friends but mostly I'm home.
I enjoyed being at home you know, probably because I'm not the kind of person that can stay out all day. I prefer staying at home most of the time if it's not blackout of course.
It might sound boring but I got so many things, or mangas to finish. I always read new mangas every holiday by a website on the internet. I always choose the one that has a lot of chapters because I had a lot of spare times but right now because of my eyes whose condition is getting worse, I can't really be in front of the computer as long as I liked which is a bummer really.
I'm reading Vampire Knight and Beelzebub at the moment, I won't spoil the storyline to you guys, if you're interested go read it on your own.
But if you're a boy you better go to Beelzebub cause Vampire Knights I think is more suitable to women. Yeah, I rarely read shojo manga, because I think shojo manga has a predictable story progress which is not fun at all although I make exceptions for some that have good drawings, especially the male character. Shonen manga FTW! There are some shojo manga that I really think is interesting like Skip Beat!, or Vampire Knight.
Oh come on, I am perfectly normal. Everyone does that!
Anyway, I'm gonna go to dentist today, Ouch.
I hate dentists, but I better be accustomed because I sure am gonna see them a lot for the upcoming years.
Sigh.
Signing off.
Adios ♥
Yes, finally in accordance to my title, my party has been crashed!
By that SNMPTN test on mid June. I don't know how I'm supposed to study for that test right now.
Actually, I'm a planner but no so much of a doer. I make plans but I always break them, which is absolutely why I haven't even touched a single material of what is on the test.
A huge procrastinator that I am, I keep on delaying and delaying.
And now I feel a huge dissatisfaction because I'm supposed to be enjoying my holiday but I have to study. Why is that? I know it's for my future but it's the immature and inadequate side of myself talking right now.
I really am having my way at home. I wake up at noon almost evening, took a bath, eat, browse internet or play games then sleep again. Sometimes I hang out with friends but mostly I'm home.
I enjoyed being at home you know, probably because I'm not the kind of person that can stay out all day. I prefer staying at home most of the time if it's not blackout of course.
It might sound boring but I got so many things, or mangas to finish. I always read new mangas every holiday by a website on the internet. I always choose the one that has a lot of chapters because I had a lot of spare times but right now because of my eyes whose condition is getting worse, I can't really be in front of the computer as long as I liked which is a bummer really.
I'm reading Vampire Knight and Beelzebub at the moment, I won't spoil the storyline to you guys, if you're interested go read it on your own.
But if you're a boy you better go to Beelzebub cause Vampire Knights I think is more suitable to women. Yeah, I rarely read shojo manga, because I think shojo manga has a predictable story progress which is not fun at all although I make exceptions for some that have good drawings, especially the male character. Shonen manga FTW! There are some shojo manga that I really think is interesting like Skip Beat!, or Vampire Knight.
Oh come on, I am perfectly normal. Everyone does that!
Anyway, I'm gonna go to dentist today, Ouch.
I hate dentists, but I better be accustomed because I sure am gonna see them a lot for the upcoming years.
Sigh.
Signing off.
Adios ♥
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Graduation
Hi, I know it's too freaking late to blog about graduation but shit just hit me now. Pardon my language, using good and proper words to exaggerate has never been a strong suit.
Sometimes reality comes crashing to us, other times it dawns on us slowly despite our best efforts to ignore it. To add to my insanely long list of bad habits, I tend to ignore things or problems that I don't like and can't deal with long enough until it slaps me it the face.
It is, as I said before stupid, naive and cowardly. I'm working on it, trust me, not an easy thing to fix.
You know, I've been thinking, graduation really is a huge milestone in our lifes.
It marks our end in pursuing education and throws us straight at the merciless life. Yes, there is still college but don't you think that college is just like real life but with the formalities?
There is a big important choice waiting for us right at the end of high school.
And for me, nothing and no one is helping me make this decision, instead everyone is just stirring things up and adding to my confusion. I have yet to make a choice, by the way.
And now, I did not mean this post to burden you with my troubles as if you did not have enough dramas in your life already.
But graduation really is a huge thing.
You see, friends as we call them are like coins. Some are valuable and golden while some are merely two-faced and worthless, like pennies.
And choosing friends are like betting your money in a roulette machine. Purely driven by luck because some masks we just can't unveil until the time comes.
That is why, never get too comfortable in your own shoes. You never know when it's gonna get stepped on. Just because it's new doesn't mean it's better. But new things and sales have always been a super attraction booster, aye?
I like to think that my rotten luck has gone and now, I see my friends as good ones, great even.
And the thing is, I hope that graduation won't take them away from me.
Pre graduation, we still hung out like usual but we are gonna go to different places to take on university.
When we met again after those times, will we still be able to talk idly for hours like we used to? Will we still laugh at stupid things like we were? Will we be like strangers, spouting formalities at each other, work and the weather while we used to be so close?
Ah, the mysteries of life. The change time brings upon us, still nothing prevails until time has chosen to.
You know, reading my blog and other people's blogs I noticed some significant differences.
Firstly, I had absolutely no idea how to customize my blog or make it more interesting. I see many many good pretty blogs and I just steamed with envy.
Secondly, I know and realized I got no writing skills whatsoever. You know, that kind of ability of choosing words and topics to grab people's attentions and not to bore people to death. My blog is so boring. I had ideas, words and sentences in my head but at time when I'm about to write it, my head went blank.
I've read novels and I've met writers who can just make us fly to their imaginary world and absorb us into the stories, that's why I know I possess no such talent.
Thirdly, my choice of words and repetitions. I tend to repeat words and I choose a very commonly used words, not those sophisticated ones that cool bloggers usually used.
Lastly, my English sucks, isn't it? Sorry. I've learned English at a very young age, and textbooks and rules never did apply to me. I learned better English through reading stories, listening to music and watching foreign movies. That's why my English is pretty much conversational rather than using proper grammars, tenses and vocabularies.
There I said it.
Anyway, I watched The Avengers yesterday! Super damn good! Love it. Must watch guys!
Fine, I'm not gonna bore you with my stuffs anymore. I'm out!
Peace ♥
Sometimes reality comes crashing to us, other times it dawns on us slowly despite our best efforts to ignore it. To add to my insanely long list of bad habits, I tend to ignore things or problems that I don't like and can't deal with long enough until it slaps me it the face.
It is, as I said before stupid, naive and cowardly. I'm working on it, trust me, not an easy thing to fix.
You know, I've been thinking, graduation really is a huge milestone in our lifes.
It marks our end in pursuing education and throws us straight at the merciless life. Yes, there is still college but don't you think that college is just like real life but with the formalities?
There is a big important choice waiting for us right at the end of high school.
And for me, nothing and no one is helping me make this decision, instead everyone is just stirring things up and adding to my confusion. I have yet to make a choice, by the way.
And now, I did not mean this post to burden you with my troubles as if you did not have enough dramas in your life already.
But graduation really is a huge thing.
You see, friends as we call them are like coins. Some are valuable and golden while some are merely two-faced and worthless, like pennies.
And choosing friends are like betting your money in a roulette machine. Purely driven by luck because some masks we just can't unveil until the time comes.
That is why, never get too comfortable in your own shoes. You never know when it's gonna get stepped on. Just because it's new doesn't mean it's better. But new things and sales have always been a super attraction booster, aye?
I like to think that my rotten luck has gone and now, I see my friends as good ones, great even.
And the thing is, I hope that graduation won't take them away from me.
Pre graduation, we still hung out like usual but we are gonna go to different places to take on university.
When we met again after those times, will we still be able to talk idly for hours like we used to? Will we still laugh at stupid things like we were? Will we be like strangers, spouting formalities at each other, work and the weather while we used to be so close?
Ah, the mysteries of life. The change time brings upon us, still nothing prevails until time has chosen to.
You know, reading my blog and other people's blogs I noticed some significant differences.
Firstly, I had absolutely no idea how to customize my blog or make it more interesting. I see many many good pretty blogs and I just steamed with envy.
Secondly, I know and realized I got no writing skills whatsoever. You know, that kind of ability of choosing words and topics to grab people's attentions and not to bore people to death. My blog is so boring. I had ideas, words and sentences in my head but at time when I'm about to write it, my head went blank.
I've read novels and I've met writers who can just make us fly to their imaginary world and absorb us into the stories, that's why I know I possess no such talent.
Thirdly, my choice of words and repetitions. I tend to repeat words and I choose a very commonly used words, not those sophisticated ones that cool bloggers usually used.
Lastly, my English sucks, isn't it? Sorry. I've learned English at a very young age, and textbooks and rules never did apply to me. I learned better English through reading stories, listening to music and watching foreign movies. That's why my English is pretty much conversational rather than using proper grammars, tenses and vocabularies.
There I said it.
Anyway, I watched The Avengers yesterday! Super damn good! Love it. Must watch guys!
Fine, I'm not gonna bore you with my stuffs anymore. I'm out!
Peace ♥
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Iris
Hi! This is a post that I have written long ago just haven't got the heart to finish it :)
You know, I'm graduating real soon, I just need to grab the paper at 25th this month actually. And college is a very tough choice for me.
I am so not looking forward to college life.
I planned to go to Bandung, but I still can't be sure. I don't know how to adapt to the environment there, how to live without my parents' support, how to make friends, and the list goes on and on.
You see, this is why the post took so long to finish. I thought that if I don't think about it, then it will go away. The problems will go away.
This is a very naive and cowardly way of thinking or solving problems, I figured as much, just doesn't have the courage to acknowledge it.
The title of this post, Iris is actually a song title. Yeah, my titles are mostly taken from songs, I know I lacked imagination and creativity :)
There is one line that really struck me you know, it's the chorus.
Well if you read my post or if you knew me, you'll know. I am a football hooligan, I listen to hard rock/metal songs, I hate pink, I am socially awkward, I don't look friendly and I am not friendly if we're only acquaintances or perhaps I hate you.
I don't think many people can actually stand being my close friend. I tend to lash out very often if in bad mood or if I disagree with you. Too stubborn for my own good, I am. Sigh, I suck really.
I find it hard to befriend people or greet people first because my pride are up to my eyeballs against it.
Oh man, how am I supposed to start a life there?
But on the brighter side, it's a new slate. People don't know me there so making a good impression will probably be easier. Yes, keep dreaming, you don't even talk Indonesian fluently.
I am in dilemma right now, where am I supposed to go?
If I stayed here in Medan, then I'll probably never be able to stand up by myself because I will be in constant support by my parents, beside there are some people here in Medan that I'd rather see dead.
Anyway, this national test to university that I'm taking is actually about 40ish day away and I have no preparation at all.
Screw me.
I'm dead, aren't I?
XOXO ♥
You know, I'm graduating real soon, I just need to grab the paper at 25th this month actually. And college is a very tough choice for me.
I am so not looking forward to college life.
I planned to go to Bandung, but I still can't be sure. I don't know how to adapt to the environment there, how to live without my parents' support, how to make friends, and the list goes on and on.
You see, this is why the post took so long to finish. I thought that if I don't think about it, then it will go away. The problems will go away.
This is a very naive and cowardly way of thinking or solving problems, I figured as much, just doesn't have the courage to acknowledge it.
The title of this post, Iris is actually a song title. Yeah, my titles are mostly taken from songs, I know I lacked imagination and creativity :)
There is one line that really struck me you know, it's the chorus.
Exactly what I was thinking. I'm pretty much a weirdo, you know.I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think they'd understand.
Well if you read my post or if you knew me, you'll know. I am a football hooligan, I listen to hard rock/metal songs, I hate pink, I am socially awkward, I don't look friendly and I am not friendly if we're only acquaintances or perhaps I hate you.
I don't think many people can actually stand being my close friend. I tend to lash out very often if in bad mood or if I disagree with you. Too stubborn for my own good, I am. Sigh, I suck really.
I find it hard to befriend people or greet people first because my pride are up to my eyeballs against it.
Oh man, how am I supposed to start a life there?
But on the brighter side, it's a new slate. People don't know me there so making a good impression will probably be easier. Yes, keep dreaming, you don't even talk Indonesian fluently.
I am in dilemma right now, where am I supposed to go?
If I stayed here in Medan, then I'll probably never be able to stand up by myself because I will be in constant support by my parents, beside there are some people here in Medan that I'd rather see dead.
Anyway, this national test to university that I'm taking is actually about 40ish day away and I have no preparation at all.
Screw me.
I'm dead, aren't I?
XOXO ♥
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Brick by Boring Brick
Hello! Long time no post :)
Been so fed up with school works recently. I never really learned anything from school, never had. I always go to school you know to gossip, fool around, chat or play games to kill time.
School's good, it's great but if only they got rid of the waking up early and the piling homeworks. Nah, exams are okay in my head. Actually, I only feel like a student when it's exams time.
Ah then again, will be leaving school. There goes 15 years of my life spent like a blink of eye. I'm gonna miss school. Heck, I'll even do it all again if possible.
See, I'm going to make a choice in the near future. I need determination. I have none.
What can I do really?
To some people, choices are easy to make. But for me, who always think too much, I have many at stake.
Usually, it's the moms who felt like they don't want their kids to leave, for me, I felt like I can't leave her. Why, you ask?
She's naive. She trusts too easily, she's way too kind for her own good. I am usually the one who barks off all the disturbances, I can't really imagine how will it be when I'm gone.
Cause you know, it's not an easy option. I am going to miss out an entire 3-4 years of my parents' life. I have never been that far away from them before. I have to admit, it sure will be hell to adapt.
I can't really leave my parents, especially my mom on her own. Because except for the reasons I listed above, she is also very nurturing and protective to us. You know, she never really wanted us to do the house works but I insisted on me and my brother helping. She has worked too hard, she must be exhausted but noooo, she just won't ask for help which I will gladly drag my brother to if I must.
Problem is that stupid idiotic brother of mine is just either too stupid or too ignorant to care. I really hate him sometimes. He didn't think about how tired my mom must be, how we as her children should've helped. He is always about his computer, online games.
Sometimes I just want to change the speedy password so that he will not be able to play it again. Which I will do, if I don't see a change tonight.
I have talked to him many times, soft in the beginning but somehow he just managed to piss me off in the middle and I always ended up saying harsh things. I find it hard to sugarcoat my words even when I'm focused so you can imagine when I'm pissed.
Well, let's see tonight. Will blog the result if I have time.
Adios ♥
Been so fed up with school works recently. I never really learned anything from school, never had. I always go to school you know to gossip, fool around, chat or play games to kill time.
School's good, it's great but if only they got rid of the waking up early and the piling homeworks. Nah, exams are okay in my head. Actually, I only feel like a student when it's exams time.
Ah then again, will be leaving school. There goes 15 years of my life spent like a blink of eye. I'm gonna miss school. Heck, I'll even do it all again if possible.
See, I'm going to make a choice in the near future. I need determination. I have none.
What can I do really?
To some people, choices are easy to make. But for me, who always think too much, I have many at stake.
Usually, it's the moms who felt like they don't want their kids to leave, for me, I felt like I can't leave her. Why, you ask?
She's naive. She trusts too easily, she's way too kind for her own good. I am usually the one who barks off all the disturbances, I can't really imagine how will it be when I'm gone.
Cause you know, it's not an easy option. I am going to miss out an entire 3-4 years of my parents' life. I have never been that far away from them before. I have to admit, it sure will be hell to adapt.
I can't really leave my parents, especially my mom on her own. Because except for the reasons I listed above, she is also very nurturing and protective to us. You know, she never really wanted us to do the house works but I insisted on me and my brother helping. She has worked too hard, she must be exhausted but noooo, she just won't ask for help which I will gladly drag my brother to if I must.
Problem is that stupid idiotic brother of mine is just either too stupid or too ignorant to care. I really hate him sometimes. He didn't think about how tired my mom must be, how we as her children should've helped. He is always about his computer, online games.
Sometimes I just want to change the speedy password so that he will not be able to play it again. Which I will do, if I don't see a change tonight.
I have talked to him many times, soft in the beginning but somehow he just managed to piss me off in the middle and I always ended up saying harsh things. I find it hard to sugarcoat my words even when I'm focused so you can imagine when I'm pissed.
Well, let's see tonight. Will blog the result if I have time.
Adios ♥
Friday, February 17, 2012
Turning Tables
HELLO! Phew, haven't been blogging for so long!
I have thought about posting something before but always forgot. Lol!
So I'm here now :)
My dark skin has gotten even darker since that day when we took pictures in Cemara, sucks :( It'll be hell to whiten up again *sigh*
Valentine's has just passed you know. The official reminder to every single people on this world that you are SINGLE -.- Well, I'm always single on Valentine's. I changed boyfriend annually and we never made it to Valentine's. In fact, I don't think I've ever passed the New Year's Eve with a boyfriend. LOL!
I think it's due to my hot-headed, stubborn, hard-hearted nature. I'm very opinionated, so there's no changing if I'm set on something, I feel like I'm always right ._. This has proven to be quite the obstacle in my love life.
My last boyfriend has the exact same nature as I do. Oh wow, you can only imagine how our fights were. AK47s, Rocket Launchers, you name it. It's an all out war, no one really backed down. We're too stubborn for our own good. We fought for like every single day in our relationship. There's no day gone without a fight. Be it simple petty fights over trivial things or huge fights that always left us critically wounded. But you know, in the end, love made everything okay. We lasted 7 or 8 months, no one expected it, given our situation at time. But there were sweet memories too, you know, the kind that always resonated through your head when you decided that it's over, the kind that always made you think again before letting go. I think that's what kept us together that time. Fortunately, I moved on :)
You know, everytime I checked my timeline, there are always a couple of people who always tweet about their love life, or galau-ing, as they call it. I feel extremely grateful to know that I have no feeling for anyone at the moment. I don't crush on anyone, or like anyone so it's pretty much peaceful for me :D
Love is quite the strange thing you know. I wish I'd never fall in love, but love is so beautiful that you know you'll regret never experiencing it.
To tell the truth, I have never had a good love story. Those romantic, super sweet ones. Good guys just don't come for me, I think I attract guys of the same head as I do. Someone like me needed someone who will back down, who will let me win but not stepping over their head. Someone who can control my fires, not fight back with fire but the one who will splash water all over me. The soothing type. Never fallen for one.
I always fell for the bad ones. I wonder why -.-
Ah, perhaps it's not yet time for me. It's okay really. I view all the experiences as lessons. Not like I ever followed the lessons anyway :p
Ciao ♥
I have thought about posting something before but always forgot. Lol!
So I'm here now :)
My dark skin has gotten even darker since that day when we took pictures in Cemara, sucks :( It'll be hell to whiten up again *sigh*
Valentine's has just passed you know. The official reminder to every single people on this world that you are SINGLE -.- Well, I'm always single on Valentine's. I changed boyfriend annually and we never made it to Valentine's. In fact, I don't think I've ever passed the New Year's Eve with a boyfriend. LOL!
I think it's due to my hot-headed, stubborn, hard-hearted nature. I'm very opinionated, so there's no changing if I'm set on something, I feel like I'm always right ._. This has proven to be quite the obstacle in my love life.
My last boyfriend has the exact same nature as I do. Oh wow, you can only imagine how our fights were. AK47s, Rocket Launchers, you name it. It's an all out war, no one really backed down. We're too stubborn for our own good. We fought for like every single day in our relationship. There's no day gone without a fight. Be it simple petty fights over trivial things or huge fights that always left us critically wounded. But you know, in the end, love made everything okay. We lasted 7 or 8 months, no one expected it, given our situation at time. But there were sweet memories too, you know, the kind that always resonated through your head when you decided that it's over, the kind that always made you think again before letting go. I think that's what kept us together that time. Fortunately, I moved on :)
You know, everytime I checked my timeline, there are always a couple of people who always tweet about their love life, or galau-ing, as they call it. I feel extremely grateful to know that I have no feeling for anyone at the moment. I don't crush on anyone, or like anyone so it's pretty much peaceful for me :D
Love is quite the strange thing you know. I wish I'd never fall in love, but love is so beautiful that you know you'll regret never experiencing it.
To tell the truth, I have never had a good love story. Those romantic, super sweet ones. Good guys just don't come for me, I think I attract guys of the same head as I do. Someone like me needed someone who will back down, who will let me win but not stepping over their head. Someone who can control my fires, not fight back with fire but the one who will splash water all over me. The soothing type. Never fallen for one.
I always fell for the bad ones. I wonder why -.-
Ah, perhaps it's not yet time for me. It's okay really. I view all the experiences as lessons. Not like I ever followed the lessons anyway :p
Ciao ♥
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
This Crystal Ball is Always Clouded
Future is a funny thing isn't it? So bleak and foggy, we'll never know what will happen the next minute, hour, day or even this very next second. It's frustratingly mysterious and it's driving me nuts.
In a few months, I will be making a huge decision that will affect my whole life. One wrong step and my life will be altered forever. It's a tremendous pressure for my shoulders and really, I couldn't decide on anything yet.
Actually, my parents advised me to major in Accounting, which I had previously decided on but then I realized that Accounting didn't suit me. I don't like it and I really don't think I will enjoy it at all. I had my sights set on Psychology, but I think it will prove to be hard finding a job majoring on Psychology. I probably will be a shrink, dwelling with crazy, mentally-tempered people as if I'm not crazy enough already.
I wanted to study abroad but my mother said no, my father said nothing but I can see that he actually forbid me going anywhere. So, I shrink my hope into studying in Java. yet again my mother told me that if I wanted to attend a university there I have to have a friend with me.
I have big dreams, but situation forbid me. It's so frustrating having so many choices but so limited chances.
You know, I find my future very boring. We will all probably be working in an office somewhere or have a business somewhat, these are the things that our parents and society are expecting us to do. Also these are the "safe" life we will be threading on for the rest of our lifes.
I wish I wasn't born here, I wish I wasn't born with these situation. I wanted to go backpacking, I often fantasize of it. Imagine the life of living freely, interacting with wilderness, going wherever you wanna go and all that exciting details. Oh man, I love it!
I want to feel that awkwardness when arriving on a foreign place, feel the nervousness when talking with unknown people, studying a new culture, surfing on a deserted beach, studying cultures of exotic places, feel the ecstasical rush of adrenaline surging through the veins. Oh my! Unbelievable. Send shivers through my spines whenever I think about it.
I'm feeling like a caged bird. Wanting to spread my wings wide and fly but then found out that I was being fed through someone's hand and living a comfortable but not desirable restricted life.
Geez. What will become of my future? What if I regret my choice? What if I didn't succeed? And a lot more what ifs going in my head.
Bye ♥
In a few months, I will be making a huge decision that will affect my whole life. One wrong step and my life will be altered forever. It's a tremendous pressure for my shoulders and really, I couldn't decide on anything yet.
Actually, my parents advised me to major in Accounting, which I had previously decided on but then I realized that Accounting didn't suit me. I don't like it and I really don't think I will enjoy it at all. I had my sights set on Psychology, but I think it will prove to be hard finding a job majoring on Psychology. I probably will be a shrink, dwelling with crazy, mentally-tempered people as if I'm not crazy enough already.
I wanted to study abroad but my mother said no, my father said nothing but I can see that he actually forbid me going anywhere. So, I shrink my hope into studying in Java. yet again my mother told me that if I wanted to attend a university there I have to have a friend with me.
I have big dreams, but situation forbid me. It's so frustrating having so many choices but so limited chances.
You know, I find my future very boring. We will all probably be working in an office somewhere or have a business somewhat, these are the things that our parents and society are expecting us to do. Also these are the "safe" life we will be threading on for the rest of our lifes.
I wish I wasn't born here, I wish I wasn't born with these situation. I wanted to go backpacking, I often fantasize of it. Imagine the life of living freely, interacting with wilderness, going wherever you wanna go and all that exciting details. Oh man, I love it!
I want to feel that awkwardness when arriving on a foreign place, feel the nervousness when talking with unknown people, studying a new culture, surfing on a deserted beach, studying cultures of exotic places, feel the ecstasical rush of adrenaline surging through the veins. Oh my! Unbelievable. Send shivers through my spines whenever I think about it.
I'm feeling like a caged bird. Wanting to spread my wings wide and fly but then found out that I was being fed through someone's hand and living a comfortable but not desirable restricted life.
Geez. What will become of my future? What if I regret my choice? What if I didn't succeed? And a lot more what ifs going in my head.
Bye ♥
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Fireworks
Happy Chinese New Year fellas! My favorite holiday of the year is better because we had our inauguration party yesterday and also we got a week off! Yeah!
Anyway, about our party, it's better than I expected but still a little cold. I figured that things turn to the better after the teachers went home, we literally were jumping onstage. Lol!
We took lots of pictures yesterday although there is a little incident with someone who I'm not mentioning here that really got me angry but the rest was cool. By the way, the photographers were so unprofessional. That's all I'm saying, the details will not be spared since I'm not gonna ruin their reputation in public but if you ask me, then I'll tell you in private :) I'm not scared even if someone will probably be printing this post *winkwink* because I'm merely stating the fact in my point of view and on my blog. I mentioned neither names nor details therefore no reputation is tainted (well, I don't even know their names really so I don't think the details will be either exciting or harmful to anyone lol). But if someone felt that my jab is directed to them, then feel free! The internet is a free space to do anything really, and human brain is a wonderful creation. LOL!
It's great that we had our friend Steanly who came as a back up photographer :) Thanks dude! We love you!
We love the decorations and the food and everything really. Plus the fact that my beloved (note the sarcasm) teacher didn't came add to my joy \m/
Also thank you for everyone who had helped us in preparing the event, you guys rock!
Anyway, tomorrow is angpao day! Lol. I'll be going back to my hometown in a few days so expect lack of posting in this week :)
PS. To you, yes you. I know what you did yesterday and trust me, it's not ending here. You'll see!
XOXO ♥
Anyway, about our party, it's better than I expected but still a little cold. I figured that things turn to the better after the teachers went home, we literally were jumping onstage. Lol!
We took lots of pictures yesterday although there is a little incident with someone who I'm not mentioning here that really got me angry but the rest was cool. By the way, the photographers were so unprofessional. That's all I'm saying, the details will not be spared since I'm not gonna ruin their reputation in public but if you ask me, then I'll tell you in private :) I'm not scared even if someone will probably be printing this post *winkwink* because I'm merely stating the fact in my point of view and on my blog. I mentioned neither names nor details therefore no reputation is tainted (well, I don't even know their names really so I don't think the details will be either exciting or harmful to anyone lol). But if someone felt that my jab is directed to them, then feel free! The internet is a free space to do anything really, and human brain is a wonderful creation. LOL!
It's great that we had our friend Steanly who came as a back up photographer :) Thanks dude! We love you!
We love the decorations and the food and everything really. Plus the fact that my beloved (note the sarcasm) teacher didn't came add to my joy \m/
Also thank you for everyone who had helped us in preparing the event, you guys rock!
Anyway, tomorrow is angpao day! Lol. I'll be going back to my hometown in a few days so expect lack of posting in this week :)
PS. To you, yes you. I know what you did yesterday and trust me, it's not ending here. You'll see!
XOXO ♥
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Galau-ing
Should be right around time to be galau-ing.
I don't feel anything anymore. I'm shocked that I actually took this long to realize that I don't deserve you. I deserve someone better, much better. And I'm grateful for all that had happened.
Just so you know, I'm not an honest one. I drop clues not hints. You see, both might seem similar--similar but not the same. Clues mean you need to collect them and find out the hidden truth, while hints are well, hints to whatever was inside, see what I mean? No? Well, don't blame yourself, I suck in storytelling or describing or anything, really!
So yeah, I am never gonna just come up to you and confess, that's just not me. I have many layers of dignity that even my own feelings won't be able to strip far. I'm stubborn and selfish with pride all over my head, I am so prideful that I don't like apologizing or admitting defeat. I am a winner, I thrive to be one, or at least I hope I could be one. You knew that, you must have known, we've been friends for so long. Did you pretend to not notice that? Did you act like you didn't know how I feel? Or what? Are you waiting for my confession? Don't hold on to it. Will never ever happen.
But now, I don't care anymore. I gave up long long time ago. This is a new book, a new beginning for me without you. I won't let you taint any page with your drama. I closed our chapter that time, and burned it recently.
I am pretty content with myself now. I have no lingering feeling for you or anyone for the matter and I feel free. At least I don't need to worry of whether you're gonna text or not, well, your blackberry is inactive at the moment. Anyway, this is not about my ex, although it may seem so. I got no feeling for my exes as well by the way. This is about a guy that has never been in a relationship with me even if we already looked like a couple.
Thanks for the memories. Farewell.
Off ♥
I don't feel anything anymore. I'm shocked that I actually took this long to realize that I don't deserve you. I deserve someone better, much better. And I'm grateful for all that had happened.
Just so you know, I'm not an honest one. I drop clues not hints. You see, both might seem similar--similar but not the same. Clues mean you need to collect them and find out the hidden truth, while hints are well, hints to whatever was inside, see what I mean? No? Well, don't blame yourself, I suck in storytelling or describing or anything, really!
So yeah, I am never gonna just come up to you and confess, that's just not me. I have many layers of dignity that even my own feelings won't be able to strip far. I'm stubborn and selfish with pride all over my head, I am so prideful that I don't like apologizing or admitting defeat. I am a winner, I thrive to be one, or at least I hope I could be one. You knew that, you must have known, we've been friends for so long. Did you pretend to not notice that? Did you act like you didn't know how I feel? Or what? Are you waiting for my confession? Don't hold on to it. Will never ever happen.
But now, I don't care anymore. I gave up long long time ago. This is a new book, a new beginning for me without you. I won't let you taint any page with your drama. I closed our chapter that time, and burned it recently.
I am pretty content with myself now. I have no lingering feeling for you or anyone for the matter and I feel free. At least I don't need to worry of whether you're gonna text or not, well, your blackberry is inactive at the moment. Anyway, this is not about my ex, although it may seem so. I got no feeling for my exes as well by the way. This is about a guy that has never been in a relationship with me even if we already looked like a couple.
Thanks for the memories. Farewell.
Off ♥
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Reports
Hi! Haven't been blogging for a long time, eh?
Happy new year! It's 2012 now. Wishing for the best, having a blast with my friends now. Lol.
Anyway! We got our report cards today, and mine kinda sucked. Wish it could be better, no, knew it could've been better if I had studied a bit more. But oh well, whatever. It's better than I had anticipated though, I really lost all my mood to study during exam recently. Maybe because my mind is relaxing from the thought that it's my last year.
Ah, forget my gloominess! Here now, I'd like to congratulate my deskmate Hardiansyah aka Achen for getting the THIRD rank! Oh, that is so freaking awesome! He deserves it though, he worked and studied really hard. I'm truly happy for him. Congrats again Chen!
I have been lazy lately. So freaking lazy. Oh and by the way even if I lost my study mood, I never cheated in exams, it's all hard work baby. Don't you just hate it you know when someone ask you your rank and then they don't believe it and say you cheat? To those kind of people, I would take the privilege to say FUCK YOU. Or fuck off? Ah, works either way. Go to hell, mate. You don't study hard enough and now you accuse me of cheating? Grr! Gets on my nerves each time it happened, well, except if it's a joke. Lol.
GTG ♥
Happy new year! It's 2012 now. Wishing for the best, having a blast with my friends now. Lol.
Anyway! We got our report cards today, and mine kinda sucked. Wish it could be better, no, knew it could've been better if I had studied a bit more. But oh well, whatever. It's better than I had anticipated though, I really lost all my mood to study during exam recently. Maybe because my mind is relaxing from the thought that it's my last year.
Ah, forget my gloominess! Here now, I'd like to congratulate my deskmate Hardiansyah aka Achen for getting the THIRD rank! Oh, that is so freaking awesome! He deserves it though, he worked and studied really hard. I'm truly happy for him. Congrats again Chen!
I have been lazy lately. So freaking lazy. Oh and by the way even if I lost my study mood, I never cheated in exams, it's all hard work baby. Don't you just hate it you know when someone ask you your rank and then they don't believe it and say you cheat? To those kind of people, I would take the privilege to say FUCK YOU. Or fuck off? Ah, works either way. Go to hell, mate. You don't study hard enough and now you accuse me of cheating? Grr! Gets on my nerves each time it happened, well, except if it's a joke. Lol.
GTG ♥
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)