Brotherhood

So! I hate my brother.

I know I know, he's my brother how can I hate him? I usually love him, but in this moment, right now, I hate him more than anything. I loathe him, despise his every being.

I just want to rip that face out of his head. That's how much I hate him right now.

You see, there's time when I hope that he won't be able to pass this tenth grade. That'll he stay. It's not like I'm cruel or crazy or whatever but I really think that this is the last resort for him to finally reconsider his choices and start behaving. He's addicted. He's sick. I think he's like addicted to online games a wee bit too much. Sometimes I just wanna slap him straight, to let him regain consciousness over the reality. He need to get a hold of himself.

He's lied, he's manipulated just so that he can play that fucking game of his. I tried deleting the game, didn't work. He installed another one, which earned an earful of me. My father has always loved him more than me, you know the usual son get more love than daughter thingy. I don't mind. As long as it's not being unfair to me, I don't protest.

Which is what drives my brother to this state of craziness. My father wasn't hard enough on him ever since he's a kid like how my father has been to me. He was used to be spoiled and I'll admit, I was jealous and angry. Then one time, I lashed out on my parents for that and they somehow ceased the unfairness. I guess, honesty worked. Lol.

Anyway, any suggestion on how to manage my mad brother? Cause I'm surely out of ideas.

Cheers ♥

Madness

AAARGGHH!
Just got the news that Craig Colton was sent home in the newest X Factor's result show!
Are you crazy, Britain? This is Craig FREAKING Colton we're talking about! Geez. I had nothing against Amelia Lily, but I certainly have now. I hope you and Little Mix go home ASAP. You guys don't belong in this competition, baby dolls. I hate Tulisa Contostavlos so much, she's a bitch.
So disappointed and angry! Him, Misha B and Gary Barlow (budum budum) are the only reasons I watched The X Factor in the first place. Now with him home, I don't think I'll watch it anymore. So damn sad :'(
 If Misha went home in the next result show, Britain and the judges better get their ears and eyes checked.
GRR!
I can't even believe he's in the bottom two, I mean he's so fucking talented! *sigh* *sniff*
Don't be sad, Craig. You have great voice, you're funny too, you'll go far in this industry, lad :)

By the way, I have just watched a show almost similar to The X Factor. It's called The Voice. Go watch it, it's great!
At first, I only watched it because one of the mentors is Adam Levine *wink wink* (What? He's hot!)
He really is. And he sings, play guitar, play drum, oohhhh his tattoos *melting*
For season 1, the show has already ended, but don't worry! There's still season 2 (More Adams coming)
It's really all great singer. There's this woman Beverly, oh my god! She's so awesome! She's got that really rocky voice, she's just ... great!


Anyway, got to go. Dinner calls :D




TTFN ♥

Back

Anyway, more on friendships.
As I mentioned on my previous post, my bestfriends are back together. I honestly don't think they'll be able to keep away from each other for a long time since they're crazy and insensitive people. And it's really good to see them back together again, sharing internal jokes, all those fun things.
A week ago, I had this one friend that I felt was pushed away from her group. I felt somehow guilty since I had a feeling that it has something to do with the blog problems. But I'm not sure.
So when Acek moved me to seat beside her, I asked and she told me. Well, now I feel really guilty. So it is about us. She didn't want to take a side, she just want to befriend everyone else. She wanted to be able to sit in the back of the class and laugh with us, sit in front and laugh with the others not just stuck in the little cycle of friends. But apparently, her goodwill wasn't accepted nicely by some people and it's just sad you know. You two are friends! I hope they'll be able to be good again. Frankly, I had no problem with the two of them, so if they wanna be friends with me, I'm fine, if they don't then it's not my problem.
I only dislike the one I had problems with, not their friends. It's none of my business and never will be.
Ah well, I hope they'll be fine.
But from what I see, this girl looks fine without them, so it's all good. Losing a friend isn't awesome you know.
Lol.
There's always misunderstanding and little quarrels between friends and it's normal! But don't be unsupportive of each other's opinions and actions. It's their own life and their own decisions.
Respect others so that others can respect you.




TTYL ♥

Rolling In The Deep

Hi! Well, first off, my bestfriends are back together again! Yay!
It feels good to finally be together, you know just have fun, loved it very very much. You know, remembering that we only had such short amount of time left to enjoy the very last minute of our high school days is frustrating. I hope to be able to rewind it all, back to the time when I first stepped in Senior High School. Been going to Sutomo all my life, and now leaving it just doesn't feel right. It's just something that's been bugging me everyday.
I know that when I grew up, I'll really miss high school. The drama, the love, the hatred, the friendships. Ah.
By the way, I cried listening to this song : Graduation - Vitamin C
It was so right! Spot on! So touching and real. It is exactly what we'll be thinking about when we were adult.
We'll be missing high school and the friends. Ah, it's so hard to leave all of these behind you know :(
I really love these moments.





Later ♥

From The Inside

Anyone familiar with the term bestfriends? Everyone had that one friend who understands them, supports them. I have a few too and I feel totally blessed.
The thing is, it's hard to differentiate bestfriends and fake friends. Those fake friends act like they were your bestest friends ever then they stab you in the back. I've seen lots of them, even experienced a few. I know how they're like.
For me, having a bestfriend is like having someone you can talk to about anything, the one you knew would never judge you, would never let you fall on your own, someone you can go insane with. But some people misunderstood the concept of supporting your bestfriend. Sure, as a friend, you can never let your friends fall on their own. You help them back up and move along. But what if they're the one at fault? What if they're the guilty ones? Should you just forget about who's right or wrong and just blindly support your bestfriends?

NO. Being bestfriends doesn't mean that you have to forget about your self-righteousness, your needs and your feelings. You don't need to follow your friends everywhere like a loyal puppy just because you guys are bestfriends. You don't need to put your feelings aside just because your bestfriends don't think the same way. You don't need to be hostile to everyone who isn't in your little cycle of friends. And more importantly you don't have to support and make decisions for your bestfriends all the time!

But I didn't mean to make it seem like when your bestfriend is guilty and she's down because of it, you just leave her. No. You stay by her side, lift her up and lead her to do the right thing. Apologize. Sincerely, from the heart.You don't make her do something that will worsen the situation! Honey, that's just mean.
As a person, you have the right to be neutral in every situation. You don't have to always join in the fray and take a side, especially if it's not your problem. And if your other friends hate you for being neutral, then leave them. They're not friends, they're fakers. A good friend will accept your decision good-heartedly not judge you as untrue and unloyal.
There's still many fish in the sea, you can still find another bestfriend, someone who will accept you for who you are, your decisions and actions.
Also, if you started feeling uncomfortable of your friends' actions or behavior, talk to them right away. Don't procrastinate or worse, you tell your other bestfriends about it and you lot gossip behind their backs. You can tell your other friends but tell them not to judge. Just ask for the opinion and decide on the right time to talk.

That's all from me today :D



Cheerios ♥

Breakeven

Today I felt like shit. I woke up with a pounding head and later on stomachache, been feeling low all day. But I'm better now after taking a long nap which is a shame because I actually expected to be sick so that I don't need to go to school. Lol.
We played a game (again) in Miss Yeni's lesson where we have to throw a paper ball into the dustbin successfully. If we did then one ball scored 100, I tried and failed. I had no control whatsoever -.-
Oh whatever.
By the way, have any of you seen TOP's pictures for Bazaar? Sizzling hot!
I hated people who smoke but for him I'll definitely make an exception ♥
Tabi's too perfect! He's tall, nice body, sexy voice and smoking hot. Aww, I can feel myself literally melting already.

I am too loud. Too harsh. Too ungirly.
I'm disappointed that I, up until now still failed to change. Oh well *sigh*

My besties are having a fallout and it seems like there's nothing I can do to avoid it. I think it's just because they go to different classes. It sets a distance between them.
For me, I actually have no problems with any of them maybe because we're used to not being in the same class so petty arguments are rare. I figured it's just a common misunderstanding and miscommunication but for them it's a whole another problem -__-
I hope they'll be good again soon, honestly, we haven't spent much time together again nowadays. I've been busy and they have too.
I'll try talking to them again tomorrow :)



Cheers ♥

Masquerade

I'm a firm believer of what you see is what you get. But I think I need to get the facts straight because really, you can't rely on appearances alone, even if it really does matters.
That's why I'm somehow shocked that someone who looked like that can really do those kinds of things. The lesson I get is that friends really do matter. They define you, aside from your appearances. Who you are friends with determine how people see your personalities, even if you are not really like that.
There are many people who mastered two faces at once here, and it's really cruel, those faces. They look like one at a time and just as quick as blinking they turn faces. Masks are also quite common around here. Get used to it, they'll be many more to come as you move forward in this life.
And honey, no matter how pretty the mask is, it can't hide the ugliness you have. People can still smell your stink :)
By the way, I have encountered many people like that and honey, they don't last long. There is one an ex-friend, people say there is no ex-friend but I got one. She's been destroying friendships all over and now no more friendship for her, lol. Seriously, people hate her and the only ones who don't are her so-called friends. They even hate each other inside their little circle of friendship. I can't say I'm happy but frankly she deserves it, yeah that's how much I hate her.
So yeah, that's all :)




TTFN ♥